Bombay Vintage - Colaba,Mumbai.

The scoundrels attacking us were inexperienced and desperate men. Since they were imitating our every move, we baited them by deliberately firing a blank vertically upwards and then triggered an explosion in their midst making it appear that the vertical shot made the hit. The fools used the little powder they had to fire vertically upwards and well what goes up comes down. Their foolish shot took them out, well most of them. Our landing party got hold of Cuvo who was trying to crawl away with his rather slow first mate Aruso. 

Bombay Vintage is a place that has been around Regal cinema for close to a year. Admittedly, I was not well informed about the place till I actually arrived here to sample their grub and grog for their curry and cocktail festival. The place has a nice classy vibe to it. The decor is a mix of Victorian and the early 1900s. The music is either instrumental or 80's greatest hits, both genres which I adore greatly.

Their regular menu feels very much like a mix of English, a bit of Mediterranean and the like. However this special menu features many famous curries from India and around the world. It also includes a small cocktail menu which has unique drinks which will no longer be offered after the festival concludes. The Festival runs till the 18th so if you are a curry connoisseur, treat your hungry self to the curries at Bombay Vintage.

Cocktail in Caribbean was a mixture of White rum, Vodka, Tequila, Malibu and some fruit juice. This was a mildly potent and largely sweet cocktail whose flavor was largely dominated by the coconut flavored Malibu rum. The color probably came from the orange juice and drink felt very much like a beach cocktail.

Cucumber and Basil martini was a fun cocktail made out of fresh cucumber, vodka, basil and lime. The flavor felt like liquor made out of cucumber itself. The cucumber's flavor dominated the drink. My first time with a cucumber martini.

Jamaican Curry with Rawas(Indian Salmon). I went by the staff's recommendation and chose Rawas as the protein. The menu lets you choose your own protein and roughage. Now I have never had Jamaican curry before, so I cannot be a good judge but traditionally its eaten with huge chunks of chicken and not seafood. The flavor was salty and mildly spicy with Thyme, Allspice and veggies thrown into the mix. I read up a few blogs and it seems that the curry itself was accurate in flavor. Just that I should have chosen chicken instead of fish.

The curry was light on the tongue and should be eaten before you try any spicy or stronger flavored curries. Jasmine rice concerted well with this curry.

Since it is Jamaican, I wonder if this could be called a soul curry.

Try and not have this with Indian items like Appam, Dosa, Boiled rice or Vada unless you want to destroy the authentic Jamaican experience completely. There are always risks of giving the patron complete control over the ingredients and elements of a fine dish.

Korean Curry or Kare Raiseu is meant to be had with rice. Bombay Vintage's Jasmine rice option is ideal for this curry.  The flavor felt a little flat. But that could be due to my taste buds wanting something strong on flavors. I had this with Prawns but this goes better with red meats like mutton of beef.

Little Cuvo : This isn't over. I am called Little Cuvo for a reason. Big Cuvo will not forgive you for this.

Captain : Look at you, gigantic size but lesser of a mind than Hodor. You seriously think I'll fall for that lad?

Little Cuvo : (Cries) Aruso save me.

Captain : Your gluttonous friend is a little busy at the moment. But worry not lad, you will join him soon.

Mongolian Curry was perfect on all factors - Aroma, spices and the choice of chicken as protein. There are several variants of this curry. Some are on the yellowish side while some are reddish. Some are dense while some are thin like Bombay Vintage's version. This was a spicy curry with the flavor of Hoisin sauce and oyster sauce being most prominent. It had an earthy flavor and felt very oriental.

Do note that if you have a low spice tolerance, go for a milder curry. This curry was hot.

The service was cool. The servers were dressed up as dabbawalas and were professional. It does feel weird to see a dabbawala speak good English though ha. The only flaw was that I was given inaccurate protein recommendations for the Jamaican curry.

Bombay Vintage's pricing seems ideal for this part of town. A course for two including two curries and two cocktails works to about INR 2200 which is lesser than what it may cost in other fine dine places in Colaba. Heck, it is even cheaper than some uptown Cafes.

The curry and cocktail festival is a limited feature which concludes on the 18th of August, 2016. The event menu is large. I just sampled three curries and there is a whole unexplored world out there. The food is good provided you know your curry combinations well.

The Captain's Score : 8/10

"

(Captain and a team go off the ship with the prisoners and return after sometime.)

Firsty : Out of curiosity, what did you do with them mate?


Captain : Well it was difficult to row to the shore with all these sharks in the water.

Firsty :  So you...

Captain : Aye, those toxic little scallywags gave them poor sharks a serious case of food poisoning ha.

Firsty : Guess we are free to explore the next mark then. 

Captain : Aye but lets be careful. There could be more jokers like Cuvo and Aruso around.


"

Map Co-Ordinates
Bombay Vintage
Opposite Regal Cinema,
Regal Circle,Madame Cama Road,
Colaba, Mumbai

-I was invited to sample the event menu by the Restaurant. My review however remains objective.-

Ellipsis - Colaba, Mumbai

Me ship was docked at a major port and the crew were attending to matters of their own. I had some time alone and decided to meet a few of me friends. They had chosen a fancy restaurant in the posh part of town. The chef was apparently a superstar or so they said. Confident that nothing could possibly go wrong, I decided to join them.

My Ellipsis experience largely reminds me of the old tale about the Emperor's new Clothes.


Usually when one sees a highly rated uptown establishment with a lot of raves penned by well known food critics and newspaper journalists, one assumes that nothing will go wrong. I am not a superstar food critic or a journalist. I am that ordinary guy who loves his food, knows a little bit and writes about it. Sadly as that guy and a customer, I must say that I was thoroughly disappointed with my Ellipsis experience.

Ellipsis does not have an inspiring ambiance. It looks crowded with little space between tables. The decor looks like it was done by some hack in a hurry. The furniture is not comfortable. And the random art pieces attached to the wall feel as if they are a patch up job to make up for the mediocre ambiance. It was akin to buckets under holes in the roof. Such an ambiance is almost a cardinal sin for a place that bills itself as a fine dine.

I fully understand places which have dynamic and ever changing menus. Its fun and it keeps the mystery alive. But as a human being with some rational sense still left in me, I have to question why Ellipsis changes the menu completely. And is the rotation pulled out of a random generator or actually planned?

When we planned out trip to Ellipsis, we were sure that they would keep some of their star attractions on their menu. But what I ended up with, was a menu with absolutely nothing that appealed to me. No fish, rarely any chicken dishes and full of mediocrities which at best can be overpriced appetizers and not mains.

When one walks into a fine dine, they certainly expect more than tacos and salads. If I wanted those, I would pay lesser than a tenth of the price and sit at a fast food joint like Taco bell.

Not Colada was a virgin take on Pina Colada. More than Not Colada it was a No Colada. For a drink priced at INR 350, there was barely any liquid. Ice chunks filled more than half of the glass with barely four sips of the liquid. Such practices remind me of shoddy cafes in the 90s that adhered to this profiteering tactic. To see this disreputable act being replicated in a fine dine immediately soured my mood.

I wondered how it would be if the seas were to be like me drink. That would mean a lot of undersea ice age.

Truffle fries were well plated and tasted fairly well but in the end were just fries. I am not going to wax eloquent on how brilliant these fries were. What put me off was the price tag of INR 950. Even if the restaurant claims to import its ingredients straight from France or Ireland, this price does not justify it.  There was nothing spectacular to merit that kind of price. I do feel it was priced at least three times then it was worth.

These fries better be made of gold at that price. Or at least Silver.

The Shrimp, Lamb and Lobster Tacos varied in quality.

The Shrimp Tacos felt like a filler snack not having an awe inspiring flavor or anything memorable.


The Lamb Tacos were a through disappointment. The flavor felt very Indianized resembling mutton curry.  It was the kind of stuff you would send straight back to the kitchen.


The Lobster Tacos were promptly showered with lemon by an acquaintance who knew his sea food well. These tacos felt quite juicy, tangy and seemed to partially make amends to the lack of fish. These were plated in an appetizing manner too.

The portion sizes were again meager for items billed between INR 850 to INR 1000 a plate. This is going to be a running theme for the rest of the post I fear.

The Chicken, Prawn and Shrimp dumplings were as uninspiring in their taste as their appearance. I have been to Hong Kong, Singapore and Philippines and have had dumplings that came straight out of food heaven. And despite the last minute power plating attempt by the chef, I felt that the damage could not be undone. The meat was not minced well in any of the dumplings and felt very chewy. There was barely any flavor to rave about.

Methinks, these restaurant chaps would surpass scrooge. Maybe they need to be visited by the three dining spirits to help them fix their ways.

Lastly, it felt kind of miserly for the restaurant to serve just three small dumplings in that huge basket. I usually find five or six wherever I go. I have found eight in a restaurant in Hong Kong. And do note that all these places charged lesser for the dumplings. The appearance is very unsatisfying. At 550 INR, three dumplings is a ludicrously overpriced affair. Our motley little bunch was expecting at least five.

Pork Belly Buns were billed to be made out of Belgian pork belly containing Apple butter, Kimchi and some other fine ingredients. Though, I still didn't understand why three tiny buns would cost INR 900.

The first bun felt nice. The meat was well tenderized. The apple butter was in meager quantities but apparently present(as a sweet flavor could be sensed). The Kimchi was so less that the buns would have done well without it.

The second and the third buns however had chewy and harder meat. It's not fun wrestling with your food in the mouth. There was also no elusive apple butter in buns two and three. In fact, the buns felt very dry and lacked the juiciness the first one had. I would have been happier if all three buns had come from the good batch. Oh well, at this point I was happy that at least one piece met the mark.

The Buffalo Wings seemed to be the only item that felt like a relief to the whole Brunchisaster. The plating was good, the meat was juicy, the coating made with the perfect batter. The thing even had a delectable aroma. Shame such quality could not reflect on the rest of the grub.

It be a strange affair to find Chicken wings to be the best dish in a fine dine restaurant. Next time I will stick to a tavern.

Ellipsis' Falafel was a classic example of why no chef should claim to know all cuisines, let alone try it. This abomination tasted like Indian Moong dal vadas. They were hard and the texture was not typical to the Falafels I had in the Middle East. The hummus felt flavorless and rushed. While the dish was plated gorgeously, the flavor fell flat in comparison. It reinstates the old belief that the thing that looks good doesn't necessarily taste good.

I could hear Darth Vader grumbling somewhere about the lack of desserts being disturbing so we had to make do with some of the sweet breakfast treats as dessert.

Pretzel Pancake looked more like a Pancake that gained weight and became a unpancake. The item looked like a large cookie or a deep dish pizza and deviated greatly away from being a Pancake. And I wonder whether using a bit of Pretzel Streusel qualified the usage of Pretzel in its name. I imagined that it would either have small pretzels peppered over it or atleast have a side of pretzels. That would totally be justified for INR 850. The item lacked its own flavor and relied a lot on the provided sauce.

The Dulce French Toast was the better of the sweet things that we ordered. It was well plated and loaded with Dulce mousse, candied nuts and caramelized banana. The toast itself was neither too soggy nor too crunchy. It was one with everything else hence perfect. I felt that this was the only item that completely lived up to expectations and the only item which lived up to its INR 850 price tag.

This be a tasty little morsel but not good enough to write a poem about. There are better things across the seven seas.

The service at Ellipsis was definitely one of the poorest that I have ever experienced. The servers were clueless about the items on the menu, quiet impatient and lacked professionalism. It took us quite a while to get their attention and they were really dragging their feet on providing water or cutlery. Two servers almost got into a physical fight. They were having an unpleasant argument and one of them angrily snatched a serving tray out of his mate's hands. The plate could have flown out of the guys hand and landed on the customers. This is not expected of any restaurant, let alone a fine dine.

I have covered pricing within the food descriptions itself but to summarize the same, Ellipsis is over priced for the quality and portions it serves. At INR 2250 per person, I could get a far superior experience in a place like Indigo.

To conclude, nothing worked for me and my buddies at Ellipsis. The whole affair left us with a feeling of being cheated. We spent good money to get absolutely nothing. Hence, this brings an end to my tale of the Emperors new clothes. Appearances can be deceiving.

The Captain's Score : 5/10

"Hope you lads had a better time in town than me. Time to haul the anchors and sail out."

Map Co-Ordinates
Ellipsis
Amarchand Mansion,
16 Madame Cama Road,
Colaba, Mumbai

-I and seven of me buddies ate and paid for our own meal-

Havana Cafe & Bar Mumbai - Colaba,Mumbai

Continuing on our adventure from last time, we were still hunting for spare parts to fix our broken power generator. Our destination today was a large island which would definitely have what we need. These lands were brightly lit at night and I could clearly see the the glowing coast from me looking glass. Suddenly, I spotted something rather strange. This was not the Caribbean, but there was a shack which somehow resembled a Cuban tavern. "Spare parts can wait, lets have a grog banquet first men.", I said. Me crew cheered as me Engineer sighed. I promised her that we would not return without the spares.

Going to the Cuban Capital may be a long stretch for most, but its certainly easier to go Havana Cafe. Located at the Gordon House hotel in the fancy part of town, this place is in a neighborhood with many giants like Cafe Mondegar. The cafe is fairly new but the commerce is running smoothly and one feels as if it has been around for ages. Finding it could be troublesome since it doesn't have many visual cues pin pointing its location and you must ask the Gordon Hotel security staff about its location on the first floor.

Cafe Havana is far from being a perfect replica of Cuba, but it does create its own vibe and embraces some popular Cuban beliefs. The dim lit ambiance is perfect for a long weekend evening and the cafes operational hours(open till 3 am) allow people to really chill out. The music could need some work as it doesn't feel Cuban or Spanish or Caribbean for that matter.

People wearing Fedoras in the cafe was quite intriguing. Though I have positively seen round hats and Castro-isque Caps more often than Fedoras in Cuban pictures.

This evening was almost a convention of Food bloggers, Reviewers, Lifestyle bloggers, Twitteratis, Instagram Influencers yadda yadda etc. There were a lot of guests including myself invited for an opening night party. The establishment is operated by the well known Mars Hospitality (Of Pizza by the Bay fame) group and thus it was expected that they put up a grand show.

To start this off, Cafe Havana is more of a bar and less of a cafe. Don't come here expecting good grub. This place is strictly a watering hole at least for now. There is a small food selection available which mostly can be described as bar nibbles.

There is a large selection of Grog on the offering. Many classics and some Caribbean themed mixtures like Cuba Libre, Mojito, Havana Sunrise, Zombie, Pink Flamingo etc.

Marked as a house specialty - The Jack Sparrow cocktail is a strange one. Its different from the Captain Jack Sparrow cocktail in the west which uses Captain Morgan's Spiced Rum and Pineapple juice. Cafe Havana's variant used white Rum, Kahlua and Mocha to make an unique blend. Being a lover of Rum cocktails, I cannot say that this was the best that I have had. It was certainly fun but the flavor was mostly dominated by the coffee rather than the rum. It carried the kick of the rum but had the flavor of Coffee.

In modern times, Sparrow is probably doing a desk job(software pirate perhaps) and uses this instead of his regular rum fix. Though I think old Sparrow preferred Red or Dark Rum over white.

Captain : Mocha in my Rum? Thats quite queer.

Crewmate : Do you dislike it Cappy? 

Captain : No, but methinks Jack Sparrow wouldn't like coffee in his rum.

Acapulco was my choice for a non alcoholic drink.  Though Acapulco is not in Cuba, I went for the mix anyway. Billed as a mixture of Cranberry, Apple and Honey - its flavor was mostly dominated by Apple juice. The thing about most branded Cranberry juices in India is that they use a mixture of Grape, Apple, red food coloring with some Cranberry essence and call it a Cranberry juice. If one uses this concoction in a mixture that already contains apple juice, then the flavor will definitely be dominated by the Red fruit. It was lacking the tang that Cranberries provide making it a sweet red colored apple drink.

While the grog is definitely top notch and will satisfy most people's evening fix. The grub that accompanies the drinks is quite average and definitely needs improvement.

The Empanadas were tasty but did not feel Spanish, they reminded me of the savory Kachori like snacks we have in India. I am not saying that this was a bad thing but an Indianized Empanada doesn't quite fit in the whole Cuban theme.

Paprika dusted Potata Brava is a decent emulation of the Spanish snack. The flavor was similar to potato wedges. It went well with the Garlic Aioli but not so well with the Mojo sauce. (which accompanied all nibbles in the evening.)

Chicken Aioli skewers resembled Satay but the flavor was distinct due to the chicken being soaked in milk. The meat was soft and felt pleasantly juicy. The only problem was that the served portions felt less.

Crisp fried Nachos were quite addicting and an item that went well beyond its mark. The fried Nachos were coated with a cheesy powder similar to that found in snacks like Cheetos. This not only reduced oiliness, it also added an addicting flavor to the nibble. The item was served with sour cream and homemade salsa. Went better with the sour cream as I felt that the salsa was a bit too mild for me.

Captain : This is not tasty, you wont like it lad.

Crewmate : You seem to be enjoying it all alone though Cappy.

Captain : Oh I am just sampling...you know.

Cubanos may not really require Cuban flags but its fun to see food with flags once in a while. For a vegetable variant, this was certainly flavorsome. The paneer was well flavored and did not feel like an outsider in a savory spicy sandwich. Good for veggies who would otherwise demolish a place for the lack of non meaty grub.

Pan seared prawns was the best nibble of the evening. It was plated well and thus felt appetizing. The taste was savory with the prawns being just right and the garlic butter sauce enhanced the flavor even further. Methinks, this is a safe bet for people looking for bites to go with their drinks.

Captain : I would love to have this at night with me bottle of Captain Morgan on a table under the stars.

Crewmate : I doubt the ship cook could whip this up. 

Captain : Quite sad, isn't that lad?

The Chicken Quesadillas were a major disappointment. The taste was below average and there seemed to be absolutely no cheese in it. The portion size felt too small as well. The flavor was very much Indianized with the chicken tasting like Chicken Keema. A shame since I love Quesadillas.

The Paella neither resembled the Valencian delicacy nor tasted anything like it. If anything, the flavor was closer to an average Risotto. I had a few bites and moved on.

Fish Fritters had an interesting presentation but the flavor was easily forgettable. Best to stick with the prawns if you have a craving for sea food.

The Churros were soft and easy on the palate. Normally, Churros are supposed to be a bit tougher but I personally do not mind soft variants. The problem here was the fact that the Churros appeared undercooked due to the color and the dipping sauce was too runny.

Tres Leches did not quite live up to its name. It looked and tasted very dry. Felt more like a regular cake. The milk reduction had probably been excessive.

Flambeed Bananas was a fun dessert. With a little bit of pyrotechnics thrown in, this sweet banana dessert was served with Rum and orange reduction. The Rum added the sweet tang to the flavor while the bananas added the fullness. Was a good comeback after the first two flops.

Captain : This is pretty lad but I am not fond of Flaming bananas.

Crewmate : From the bonfire of splendour, came golden flamed bananas. Soaked with rivers of rum and orange juice.

Captain : If you were trying to do an impression of me loving desserts, then that was a very bad attempt lad. 

Crewmate : I tried me best Cappy. (laughs)

The service was average. It is understandable that our group was large and a few glitches here and there can happen. However, Havana needs to get its comrades together and work on the service.
Despite requesting the server for non vegetarian variants of certain items like the Cubano, I was never served the same. Mars Hospitality has great service in some of its other establishments and I would like to see something similar here.

The pricing tends to be on the upper side. While it is justifiable for their drinks as its some fine stuff, the grub's quality needs to match up to its pricing.

At the end, I enjoyed my Havana experience. The atmosphere gets to you. The vibes are good and the music works. Their drinks are on the mark for the most part, just that they need to work on the food. I understand that its strictly a bar but as long as food is present on the menu, it should be improved. Since the place is fairly new, it is expected that they will work on the quality and make Havana a better place next time.

The Captain's Score : 7/10

"Its late lads, but the Engineer wont spare us without the spares. Lets sober up and find those parts fast. Until next time."

Map Co-Ordinates
Havana Cafe & Bar
Gordon House Hotel,
5 Battery Street, Apollo Bunder,
Colaba, Mumbai.

Phone 022 22894488

 -I was invited by the restaurant and Boomerang Media as part of a Bloggers and Influencers meet. Thanks go to Chandni Tolani for inviting me.-

Indigo Delicatessen - Colaba, Mumbai

We approached popular parts of the Arabian sea as me ship sailed towards the Gateway of India. My first mate reminded me that docking here would be very expensive and that our trip better be worth the effort. Seeing some of the most iconic grub houses on this island could be overwhelming. Me crew was at odds when we all chose different restaurants for the afternoon. So we decided to settle our choices in a mature manly way - through a game of rock, paper and scissors. Scissors I yelled, as me first mate and quartermaster held out a paper. Winner chooses the restaurant. Huzzah.

Indigo Deli is one of the popular cafe chains across Mumbai and is well known to serve food for the gourmands. This was my first time in their Colaba outlet. Facing other giants like The Table, Pizza Express and Carter's Blue, Indigo was my choice after much deliberation.

This outlet is located on a popular corner facing some of Mumbai's greatest attractions like the Taj Hotel and the Gateway of India. Its often frequented by celebs, expats, tourists and chat frenzy teenagers. The decor feels very vintage. Its probably the heritage exterior rubbing inside as well. The side with the windows appears very much like a colonial canteen while the large wine rack is reminiscent of a wine cellar with a ladder to boot. Though, I do assume that the ladder is rarely used.

This place is more of a restaurant than a cafe due to its size. And it does some justice to the word 'delicatessen' by selling fine foods in a specialized area under the mezzanine floor. The wooden mezzanine floor leads to a smaller but comfortable area which overlooks the cafe below. I prefer my grub up here as I am a person who loves eating from high places.

I had a built up a ravenous appetite so I needed to have my mains right away. And thus, I ordered for one of my Deli favorites, the Barbecue chicken Pizza. The pizza tasted fine as the gourmet delicacy that it was. The sweet Barbecue sauce had made the chicken chunks really juicy with flavor. The wafer thin crust made it an ultra light pizza which doesn't make one feel heavy.

However, there were two anomalies present as well. Since I have had this item too many times before, I was positive that something was wrong with the cheese content. It felt too less and too different. It used to be similar to Nacho cheese instead of the grated mozzarella like variant used here. 

Here is a link to how it appeared at my Indigo InOrbit experience.

The second problem was that the chicken felt too less in comparison to the previous versions of the same item. This problem seems to apply to a lot of their burgers too. The portion sizes are distinctly smaller while the prices have largely been the same. A compromise on both quality and quantity is a dangerous road to tread upon.

Captain : This Pizza feels very lacking. There is something missing.

Quartermaster : The Cheese, Chicken, Greens....

Captain : Oi, don't make it worse.

First Mate : Well Captain, this was your choice after all.

Baked Blueberry Cheesecake was a complete let down when it comes to Indigo's cheesecakes. This is the first time that I have been disappointed with Indigo's cheesecake in my many trips to their installations. I double checked before placing my order that this was indeed the egg containing baked variant. Sadly, the taste said otherwise. It tasted similar to the unbaked eggless variants that are often trumpeted as Cheesecakes by mass market bakeries. Adding to the pain was the fact that the "compote" tasted like medicine. Having a mass market bakery quality Cheesecake at Indigo's pricing isn't palatable at all.

Captain : This is no Cheesecake.

First Mate : Well mate, again it was your call. We should have gone with my choice.

Quartermaster : I concur.

Captain : Stop rubbing it in, lads.

The service was average for crowded conditions. While the servers were professional with their demeanor, a crowded cafe can often cause longer wait times. 'Often' however doesn't mean 'always'. A good service ensures that bottlenecks do not occur even in rush hours. And if I am to compare, I did feel that the service at their Malad outlet was far better than this outlet.

The prices at Indigo are quite high. They are on par with many fine dining places and sometimes even beyond that. In the past, the experience and the grub always made up for the money spent. I am no penny pincher and I was a regular at their Malad outlet. But the recent quality of food has desecrated the value for money factor greatly.

The Captain's Score : 7/10



"I wonder how much our docking would cost us today. To the ship on the double lads. Until next time."


Map Co-Ordinates

Indigo Delicatessen

5, Ground Floor, Pheroze Building,
Chhatrapati Shivaji Maharashi Marg,
Colaba, Mumbai.

-I ate anonymously and paid for my own grub-