The Runaway Project by PizzaExpress - Lower Parel, Mumbai.

There was this one episode in a satirical TV show where central characters manage to get into a fancy uptown restaurant only to be disappointed by the overly expensive minuscule portions of tasteless food.

Runaway project which tries to bankroll on the "goodwill" of its parent concern PizzaExpress is a real world example of that satire.

Located in the noisy second floor of the new Skyzone wing in the Phoenix mall complex, this restaurant has a classy lounge like ambiance where any notion of classiness fades away due to the deafening loud music that they play. Apparently, there is a competition going on between Runaway, Soda Bottle openerwala and Chili's where each tries to outdo the other by raising their volumes. The scene is worse than a foul mouthed politician's rally.

My small group decided to order two pizzas and an appetizer. Let me tell you that the pricing here is unforgiving. It is more expensive than the likes of Indigo and the food is neither good in quality nor quantity. I sometimes wonder if they are just extracting the prime location's expensive rent from the customers.

Here is what we ate : 

Cigar Club - Described rather fancily in the menu as Filo cigars of cottage cheese and marinated roasted peppers, spiced mayonnaise and balsamic glaze.

I wonder if they got a PR professional or a Food Blogger to write this fancy piece of falsehood.
The Spiced mayonnaise and Balsamic glaze were nothing but a few droplets sprinkled randomly in the ugly presentation above. Cottage Cheese translates to paneer here so its rather a cheap Paneer pastry snack that you can buy in most local street bakeries in Mumbai. The taste was dry and it required a dip like accompaniment which seemed to be missing. And I'd rather not call these six small pieces of puff pastry as cigars. Not to mention if your are paying INR 475 plus taxes for this - you expect a satisfactory portion size and a little bit of effort into making it look appetizing.

Hawaiian Pizza -  The Pineapple on pizza trope might trigger some pizza enthusiasts but fear not, they replaced actual pineapple with Pineapple paste(chutney). This pizza which is priced at an unforgiving INR 625 plus taxes, was smaller than the smallest of pizzas offered by most pizza exclusive places. It was rather unsatisfying to say the least. The menu strangely doesn't even mention the carpet bombing of Basil. The basil leaves completely ruin the flavor profile of this pizza. It seemed like a last minute addition by an inexperienced but over enthusiastic chef.

Giardiniera Pizza - Recommended by the server for the vegetarians in the group, this was a visually displeasing and overdone pizza (Burns on the crust). Needless to say that it was too less even for one person  - let alone be split by two people. The only thing big about this pizza was its name, one wonders if it was actually suggested by Dr. Shashi Tharoor.

This was definitely not worth the INR 625 we spent on it.

As the grub was far from satisfying or filling - we ended up going to Chili's next door to fill ourselves up. While there are similar expensive places around the city - the portion sizes there at least fill one up. Indigo has gone down in quality over the years but its pizzas at least feel satisfying, the same can be said for the pizzas at a place like Pizza by the bay.

The Runaway Project only appears to work on fancy nomenclature and paid promotions via "prominent"(but misleading) social media personalities. The ambiance is killed by the overly loud music, the pricing is bad and the food fails on all fronts.

Would I recommend Runaway Project to anyone? No. 
I'd have to say at this point - if you want a drink  - go to any bar themed restaurant in Phoenix. If you want a pizza go to Indigo or Francesco. If you want good mains - Go to Smokehouse or Delhi Heights.


The Captain's Score : 4/10

Map Co-Ordinates
S-1, Second floor, Skyzone,
Phoenix Mill Compound, S.B. Marg,
Lower Parel, Mumbai

The Irish House - Lower Parel, Mumbai.

Anyone who has been to an actual Irish pub in Ireland can tell you that The Irish House is a good emulation of the real thing. The dim lit ambiance, the wood and brick themes, wooden bar in the middle, wooden furniture, the posters and plaques all make the ambiance very typical of a Western Irish Pub. The place makes a good watering hole whenever one feels like taking a few pegs down. So I was at The Irish House for lunch. Lunch? Yes you read that right.

The Irish House, Lower Parel is a neat Irish Pub. It emulates the real thing in every way imaginable, even has the famous smoking ban that hit Irish pubs in Ireland a decade ago. The place can get quite crowded at dinner times. The dim lit ambiance is the perfect place to be part of the crowd yet be seen by no one. In the afternoon however, it feels like a dusty western Tavern but that also is a fun feel in its own way.

For INR 325+Taxes, a three course meal is quite a good offer. This makes the food cheaper than fast food chains. The quality also being far more superior than fast food places. Though, I was peeved with the lack of a dessert option and very limited drinking options. Being The Irish House, I was sure they could have designed in a larger choice for drinks.

I tried the Beer add on option. I am not really a beer guy (Don't hurt me Beer lovers pweese) but a light beverage does feel refreshing in the noon. I would have definitely preferred a Mojito or something virgin over this.

Chicken Involtini can best be explained as the Italian version of the French Roulade or vice versa. Thin slices of meat were wrapped around a vegetable stuffing. This was struck with the same problem as most Roulades in Mumbai. The meat was slightly overdone and a bit chewy. This main was drizzled with flavorful Pomodoro sauce and served with some herbed rice.

I also chose Garlic bread as my side and Chicken Popcorn as my appetizer. Strangely, all three were served together. It is understandable as they want the lunch done quickly but still I am not fond of eating two courses together. The main and the side together were normal but the appetizer should have been served earlier. This bit needs to be worked out. The chicken popcorn or softcore chicken nuggets were delicious. The Garlic bread tasted as it does anywhere else.

These messy Smokey BBQ chicken sliders were included amongst the appetizers but they seemed to me as the best item on the lunch menu. The Irish House is well known for its Burgers and these little burgers were as messy as big whoppers, delicious and had juicy patties.

Since I dropped by at late afternoon on a weekday, the restaurant was almost empty and I had the entire service to myself. So it would be difficult for me to comment on the service. As far as their serving etiquette goes, I do think they were professional.

The pricing seems all right to me. Though autograt could be avoided. Seems like a good option for a quick lunch with good quality food.

To wrap this up, a lunch option by a pub seems like a move to diversify and target non popular time zones as most pubs are empty during daytime. The limited options may feel troublesome but they ensure effective logistics and quick meals especially when lunch time is limited on an office day.

The execution could have been slightly better but overall it is a better choice and money well spent. The food is far better as opposed to eating a McD or a burger King meal.


The Captain's Score : 7/10

Map Co-Ordinates
The Irish House,
High Street Phoenix,
Senapati Bapat Marg, Lower Parel,
Mumbai


-I was invited to sample the grub by the restaurant but my review is objective and free from bias.-

1Tablespoon Pizza - Lower Parel, Mumbai

1Tablespoon Pizza(1TBSP) has quite an enigma around its name. Even the restaurant manager did not know about the name's origin. But it does do a good job of sticking in your head owing to its peculiarity. So I think its quite a clever name.

Pizza by the Slice is an interesting concept that was popularized in New York but it didn't quite get into mainstream in India. Sbarros did try a Pizza by the slice concept but they ended up making it look too artificial. This is where 1TBSP has excelled. The restaurant has a small menu but each pizza is memorable.

The pizzeria is a small parlor sized establishment which could be hard to locate if you do not know your way around Todi Mills. Its designed like a quick service/Delivery restaurant and for a pizza place they certainly are quick. My order was served to me within ten minutes of placing it. They have employed a good strategy which keeps the entire process clean, transparent and efficient. The way I see it, there are no delaying bottlenecks.

Do note that while they do have other items on their menu, best stick to their Pizzas because that is what they are best at. If you want to have pastas and the like, there are about a dozen other places in the neighborhood.

The Spicy Chorizo Pizza was not quite friendly to the camera but was rather amazing to the taste buds. Using the Goan-Portugese variant of Chorizo sausages, this was mildly salty, sweet, savory and spicy.  The sweetness came from spicy honey which gave it an addictive zing. To me, this was the best of the three slices that I tried. And might I add, the slice was quite generously loaded with meat.

The Americano was a milder pizza or at least felt that way after the spicy affair above. This one charmed the camera and my Instagram is a testament to that. It was generously loaded with American Pork pepperoni. The taste was that of a classical cheese and meat pizza. It is a safe choice for those not into spicy gourmet.

Spicy Salami was a meaty tasting whopper. It had more meat, less cheese and was topped by raw spices giving it a rough texture. The pizza was visually appealing as is resembled popular pizza pictures on social media. Though its named spicy, it is far lesser on the heat content as compared to the Chorizo pizza. A decent pizza if you want a lot of salami and less cheese. It also had a pleasantly earthy and appetizing aroma.

The staff is very professional and the entire process happens in front of you. Since the place is a QSR, service may or may not be offered.

The pricing is easy as far as slices of a 28 inch pizza go. The 11 inch (thin base) full pizzas are cheap too making 1TBSP an excellent place to order pizza from. Its better to order gourmet grade pizzas from 1TBSP rather than to order from the likes of Dominoes or Pizza hut. The pizzas here are far better and much cheaper.

To wrap it up, I think 1TBSP is like the little master - A small restaurant that has some of the best pizza in town. 1 TBSP definitely makes it to my top five pizza places in Mumbai. If you stay in Lower Parel or if you are in the area, do try 1 TBSP pizza. Mumbai may just have its very own Spontini Duomo.

P.S You can call and ask them for directions if you get lost in Todi Mills.

The Captain's Score : 9/10

Map Co-Ordinates
1Tablespoon Pizza
Mathuradas Mill Compound,
Todi Mills,
Lower Parel, Mumbai.


-I was invited to sample the menu by the Restaurant. My review however remains objective.-

Farzi Cafe - Lower Parel, Mumbai

Me navigator laughed when I showed him my four co-ordinates. He said that we need not go to all four as only one of these lied on the map we found. I had completely forgotten about the map in my late night puzzle solving. The co ordinates pointed to a popular island in the Northern seas. I rang me ship's bell to wake up the crew. The half sails were opened fully. 

We were to move at full speed towards our destination. It was obviously to get to the Blue compass faster although my Engineer suspected that I had my eyes on yet another tavern. Well, she wasn't wrong ha. I stood with a foot on my ship's bow and let the ocean breeze kiss my face. I had a strange feeling that someone was watching me.

Farzi Cafe is the newest offering of Zorawar Kalra's "Massive Restaurants" group. It is the same brand that is behind Masala Library and Papaya. Farzi Cafe can best be described as a mix of a club, a tapas bar and a bistro in a modern debonair setting. Like Papaya, the mind boggling decor is done by Pronit Nath of Urban studio. This goes even a step beyond Papaya.

I was here on the occasion of a party organized by EazyDiner. A pre-launch party is always fun and lets one sample the grub and grog before anyone else.

If it is your first time and if you have any scientific curiosity then like me you will end up staring at that wall for a few minutes. This wall is specifically made to aid 3D mapping which seems to change with the music. The ambiance is dynamic and different lighting creates different scenes and emotions. Combined with the loud music and molecular cocktails, its a world of creative chaos. Chaos can be good and desirable sometimes. Every moment in Farzi is unique which will never repeat again.

Farzi means fake in Hindi but its fine usage can also extend to illusions or mirages. Farzi cafe is named on that notion. The ambiance with its 3D mapping and the food prepared with molecular gastronomy creates rather tempting illusions that will make one's senses dance to the waves.

Farzi defines itself as a Modern Indian Bistro but its much more than that.

The service was professional for the most part though I did run into a server who made me wait ages before he got my drink.Why did I come to service before food? Its because each server had a unique and a stylish hairdo. One cannot help but notice this.

The food and cocktails were typical of Massive group's love for Molecular gastronomy. It fuses western dishes with Indian techniques or vice versa using molecular gastronomy. Its not simply adapting dishes to Indian palates but to completely re-invent them.

Farzi Apple Foamintini had an amazing presentation. Its made out of green apple syrup, martini ingredients, mint and a foam made out of whip cream. When served, the dry ice beneath the martini cup shouts out jets of vapor in all directions. The flavor is a mix of bitter, sweet and tangy with a vanilla like undertone. The drink is mildly potent and quite seductive to the tongue. To me, this was the best of Farzi's queerly named cocktails. In fact, this will be my drink every time I go to any Farzi installations in the future.

Captain : I love this drink even though it has no rum. Yum.

Nina : Nya Nya ? >:3 

Captain : Eh, why are you here? Where did the mates go? Don't tell me that they slithered away to other taverns.

Three Muskeetear was another delectable bitter sweet drink though the shaved ice sphere felt like a turn off to me. It made a great visual effect but deteriorated the drinking experience. This drink was made of Chili, orange and Hersheys chocolate syrup mixed in whiskey. The flavor felt sweet and subtly bitter. The drink was more potent than the foamintini. I loved the flavor but the sphere should either have been smaller or not have been there at all.

Captain : I wonder if there is a clue hidden inside the ice sphere. (Bites)

Captain : Ok not, Brain freeze.

Nina : Nyayayaya >:3

The Delhi Belly Pork tikka was pork belly marinated in Indian herbs and covered with a glaze made out of murabba (fruit preserve). The skin felt a little tough but beneath it was a succulent and one of the best pork bellies that I have ever had. It literally melts in the mouth. While the outer skin was sweet the inner portion was salty and fatty. A must eat if you are a carnivore and this pairs with all cocktails.

Captain : Oooh this melts in me mouth. I want more... Hey! Nina.

Nina : Nya Nya :3 (steals pork belly tikkas and runs away)

Captain : Darn it, you cute little thief. You are the only one who steals from me and gets away with it.

Tempura Fried Prawns with spiced lemon foam tasted like a fusion of Japanese deep fried prawns and Mumbai street food. Though I am not fond of foam on my food(Don't ask why), the taste here was simply divine. The foam ensures that the flavors do not interfere with each other. Any other method will cause the flavors to mix and result into something unpalatable.

The Farzified Vada Pao was a delectable little potato dumpling. This dumpling was made out of finely minced potato and the flavor had permeated evenly to every part of this dumpling. This was a more sophisticated and a perfected form of Mumbai's favorite snack. The only flaw was that the Paos were absent on the scene.

Amritsari Fish and Chips with Desi ghee Hollandaise was a dish comprised of deep fried fish cutlets served with a Hollandaise dip that used Indian clarified butter(ghee) instead of regular butter. This was a passable affair as I felt that the cutlets were a little too hard for my liking. Too much batter and too little fish.

Gupta Burger was a delectable deep fried potato patty mixed with spices and served in mini buns. So it was more like a Gupta slider. This was supposed to be an emulation of street burgers sold in Delhi by the same name. Though I have never had its namesake, I can positively attest that this was a good bar nibble.

Smoked Bacon and Pyaaz ki Kachori was a fusion of rustic, smokey bacon with an onion dumpling and served with a reduction of potato jus(Rassa). This was a good novelty even though it appeared more like a stacked appetizer rather than a truly fused food.

The Galouti Burger was made of finely minced lamb meat. The meat was so soft that even a toothless person could eat it. The minced meat was placed inside a soft burger and tasted like a very flavorsome meat bun. It reminded me of my trip to Hong Kong and the meat buns there. A good eat if you want plain good food without theatrics.

Dal Chawal Arancini - Italian arancini balls given an Indian vegetarian twist. These were filled with a stuffing made of rice, lentils, peas and greens. And were topped with a poppadom roll and served with pickle and chutney. Delectable little flavor bombs.

FFC or Farzi Fried Chicken is a play on KFC. One is served a truckload of these drumsticks though the truck is a miniature model ha. The chicken felt a little uninspired, tough and try. This was perhaps the only thing that disappointed me completely. The smoked BBQ cream dip did not help much.

Mishti Doi grapes - Continuing Massive group's love for playing with Mishti Doi (Remember the lollipops at Masala Library) were these grapes made using molecular gastronomy. These grapes would explode in the mouth releasing a sweet flavor of the Mishti Doi. Serves as a good palate cleanser between courses.

Bailey's pops were mini desserts made of Irish cream. These would dissolve fast in the mouth suggesting that these were made using Liquid Nitrogen. Decent dessert but gets over too fast. I would rather have a cup with a few of these balls than a pop. Farzi has more dessert options but this was the only one that I could sample that night.

Captain : A single pop is not sufficient dessert fer me :( 
(walks out)

First Mate : Oye, follow me mate. We found something interesting from the roof tops.

Captain : What are you fellas doing on the roof tops?

First mate : We just fought off rogues mate. Thought it would be wise to go to the tallest structure and inspect for any other trouble heading in our direction.

Farzi's pricing will be along the lines of Papaya. It will be on the higher side but given the exceptional quality of some dishes and the unique ambiance, the price is well worth the buck.

Farzi Cafe has been a big hit in Gurgaon, winning many awards. It has now arrived and brought a bit of Delhi's social scene to Mumbai. Masala Library and Papaya are already hits with the eat out crowd. Will Farzi complete Massive's hat trick? Lets find out. Farzi Cafe opens to the public on the first week end of May, 2016.

The Captain's Score : 8/10

"
Captain(on the roof top of a skyscraper) : (Sees a board with "Glutton" written on it) 
What is this?


First Mate : (Pulls out a dagger) For the Crew.  (Stabs Captain)


Captain(Shocked but sees that he is unhurt) : You are pulling a Jon Snow on me?

First Mate : Just messing. Cardboard Knives ha.

Captain (awkward silence) : Ok, so why the hell did ya call me up here?

Gunner : Look at the lights below.

Captain : They collectively seem to form a funny shape. Why?

Navigator : Look at the map. That funny shape is marked here.  

Captain(Brief stern silence) : Hmm. This region...Its the Sea of Shipwrecks.
"

Map Co-Ordinates
Farzi
Kamla Mills,
Near Radio Mirchi Office,
Lower Parel, Mumbai


 -I was invited by Eazydiner to a pre-launch party. I was not expected to write a blogpost and this post is from my own free will and written with objectivity. -





 

Please Don't tell - Lower Parel, Mumbai

We had sailed to a rather strange area in the sea. The map showed no land but yet there was a small island with a village over here. It wasn't just this ancient map but all other maps had nothing here. Bizarre! A small red rectangle and a number were scribbled on the supposed spot. I wondered what it meant. Was it some riddle or a joke the map maker played on us? One of me mates then pointed at a red colored phone booth and mentioned that those kinds of booths had not been seen for decades. 

Red Rectangles, Red booth! Could this be our clue? Lets find out if its true.
I went inside the booth which was facing a wall. I picked up the phone and dialed in the number scribbled on the map. Suddenly a wall moved and a secret tavern was revealed behind it. What in the sweet name of sweet Calypso just happened? Moreover, how does an ancient map point to a telephone booth which is a modern invention? The Blue compass mystery deepens.

Please Don't tell pays homage to the 1920s when the Prohibition act banned alcohol in the United States. Grog could only be obtained in hidden breweries and pubs which operated beyond the Government's knowledge. Getting caught meant jail and alcohol lovers had to go through great risks for their favorite brews. Ah the adventure of being a rebel.

An innocent looking Paan shop with a telephone booth next to it is the first thing you find at the perceived location of PDT. At this point, I wondered if I was at the wrong address until one of the staffers asked me to step inside the booth. He then picked up the phone and punched in a secret number.

And presto! The wall adjacent to me was revealed to be a secret door. A large tavern was completely hidden behind the booth and the paan shop. Oh yes, the hidden den thing is real and not just a namesake novelty. Though it only works the first time.

This large dim lit pub is excellent for an evening binge. The furniture seemed like an archetype of the early twentieth century and the chairs resemble those found in old underground gambling dens. The music is nice although the volume could be a little lower since loud music tends to blow the cover of a hidden society(get it?). The lighting is comfortable and time can pass really fast in here.

The food is great but totalers and the purely vegetarian folk may find lesser options. That doesn't deter me of course since I am neither. I was here to sample some goodies from their new grub menu. But before that, I sampled some of their Grog.

Mary Pickford named after a famous 20's actress is a prohibition era cocktail made out of White Rum, Maraschino(Cherry) liqueur, grenadine syrup and pineapple juice. PDT managed to replicate this perfectly. The cocktail was not too strong and had a mix of tang and bitter sweet flavors inside it. It paired well with the appetizers. It was a great experience for a Rum connoisseur like yours truly.

Puzzle Guzzle is a mystery that you gulp down with yer grub. Though it was a lesser experience compared to the concoction above, it still had its highs. This was a moderately strong Vodka cocktail mixed with ginger, grape fruit juice, lime, mint leaves and some cinnamon. Potency aside, I personally was peeved with the mint leaves floating at the top. The leaves may work with some drinks but not this.

Captain : Could this puzzle be a hint to our next clue?

Quarter master : Who cares mate? Drink hearty.

Captain : Yeah, ye are right :D

Squid Pro Quo was an average calamari. I felt that the batter coating on this was far too much than required. More than calamari, I felt as if I was eating salted fried batter with Louisiana sauce and Mango salsa.

Chicks on Sticks were teriyaki skewers served with a dip made out of peanut butter. These felt like something in between Yakitori and Satay. I love skewered chicken and these juicy bits were quite sumptuous. Though the lack of saltiness may trouble Indian palates not used to this kind of food.

Shroom with a view was an open sandwich with mushroom and cheese. Rosemary rock salt focaccia adds a dominant savory flavor but rejects saltiness. The balsamic reduction enhances the savoriness further along with some sweet tones. I quite enjoyed this sandwich and its unique bitter savory flavor. It felt very earthy and very Mediterranean. However, once again this may not appeal to a person who likes their food salty. But it works well for those who enjoy authentic western food.

The Keema Pav took a long time before finally making it to our table. And this platter was well worth the wait. The heavenly aroma was both mesmerizing and appetizing. Soft minced meat mixed with spices inside a soft fresh bun was a combination meant to please. This was the best Keema pav I have had in recent times. The only flaw was the liberal use of whole spices. It is a major turn off to encounter cardamom bags while chewing. Other than that, this item is not to be missed while at PDT.

The special Vada Pav platter is a treat for herbivores and carnivores alike. These bite sized Vada pavs were artistically plated with sweet chutney, spicy chutney and onion garlic powder. The patties melt in the mouth and feel very homemade in flavor.  Though not as amazing as the Vada pav at Ashok or Mithibai, this is good comfort food. Additionally, these weren't oily at all.

Captain : This is quite beautiful. The vada pav platter almost looks like six mountains facing four rivers ha. 

Quartermaster : Who Cares? Eat hearty.

Captain : Ya, you are right. Hey aren't ya being repetitive now mate?

Quartermaster : I had too much grog mate, gimme a break.

Butter chicken Risotto successfully combined two of my favorite dishes. The Butter chicken was A-ok as far as flavor was concerned. The meat was soft, juicy and savory. The butter was just right as the dish was not greasy. The tomato did not overpower the curry as in most places. The spices were used in moderation. The aroma was delectable, the kind that makes you dash across the room to grab a bite.

The risotto though overpowered by the chicken felt authentic. I forgot to observe whether it was Arborio or not but I enjoyed this dish too much to care. This dish was the highlight of the night. A successful marriage of Indian and Italian. Two of the world's best and ancient food cultures rolled into one.

Captain : The soft chicken and heavenly rice. Mmmmm.

Quartermaster : Stop wastin yer time and hunt for the next clue.

Captain : What the barnacles? Who was being the hearty one?

This Chocolate cake was soft, rich, creamy, decadent and full of sweet ganache. It was plated well but its dark coloring on a dark plate made it a challenge for photography. But trust me on this, it looked GOOD.

The Baked Cheesecake had amazing optics but the flavor was a polar opposite. The cheesecake felt close to a caramel pudding in taste, strangely. The typical cheesecake flavor was absent. And I could not associate any of the three cheeses(Cream cheese, Ricotta, Mascarpone) used to make different Cheesecakes with it.

The service was decent. Since the place wasn't full, we were attended by two people. As were other tables. Though, one of the servers was not very well informed about the food.

The pricing seems to be tilted towards the higher side. While many items such as the chicken skewers or the Calamari seem to be at par with similar pubs across the city, the drinks and the mains were priced higher. While the food was great and the drinks were simply amazing, I am of the opinion that the prices could be a wee bit lower.

To round this up, PDT is an amazing theme based pub which lives up to its deal. Visit this place for the vibes, the feeling of an underground community, prohibition cocktails, Keema Pav and Butter Chicken Risotto. Given its unique offerings, I suppose that all food lovers should at least visit this place once.

The Captain's Score : 8/10

"
Captain : No sign of the next clue. And the puzzle has gotten even more complex. How does an ancient map have a telephone booth marked on it?

Quartermaster : I be pondering on yer six mountains and four rivers thing.

Captain : What of it?

Quartermaster : There is an actual place like that.

Captain : Is it on our map?

Quartermaster : Doesn't seem to be marked but the co-incidence is too much. Don't ya agree?

Captain : I don't but what choice do we have mate? That is the only lead we have. Six mountains and four rivers ha. Must be quite the fertile land.

Quartermaster : A Land of farmers and their sons.

"

Map Co-Ordinates
Please Don't Tell
Kamala Mills,
Lower Parel, Mumbai


 -I was invited by the restaurants PR to sample the new menu. But my post is objective and neutral.-

Pizza Paradise at Cafe Free India - Lower Parel, Mumbai

A tree probably stood here centuries ago when this map was made. In today's time, a Cafe sits at the co-ordinates marked on the map. My quest for the Blue compass brings me crew to a small but busy island. I have been here before but never at this spot. I wondered what the next clue would be. But before all of that, I was hungry and there was a pizza festival inside the cafe. Quests can wait as a sailor needs his grub first.

Cafe Free India sounds very much like a battle cry for Freedom from colonial forces. Or perhaps it represents the Free India after that. I would agree with the latter looking at the continental menu. Cafe Free India, which started as a nondescript eatery many years ago has become a popular spot for office goers and students alike. Its burgers in particular are well known throughout the city.

But I was not here for that. There was a pizza festival going on(And will continue till 7th March, 2016) and it would be quite a shame not to sample their pizzas in this period. Food festivals are fun mate.

The ambiance feels very spartan. But despite that, there is a strange sensation of a comforting sanctuary in here. Perhaps it stems from the feelings of the white collared patrons who are temporarily relieved of their everyday stress as they gobble down some fine food. The art pieces that adorn the wall are made by local artists and are changed periodically. To be brief, the ambiance is that of a typical comfort cafe.

Sometimes, I wish that I could store food in a timeless fourth dimensional space. With that ability, I could have stored one of each pizza in my trans-dimensional refrigerator ha. Silly science fiction fantasies aside, I sampled two pieces on the menu.

But before I move on to the pizzas, a mention needs to be made to this Gingerade. This was a Ginger drink with a dash of lemon. It was refreshing, appetizing and somehow made me feel really good inside. I felt as if I could jump up and punch the moon if I wanted(or atleast the cafe's ceiling).

Think of it as a tastier version of the Green Tea. For many a years in my childhood, I had read about Ginger ales and Gingerades in Enid Blyton books. But I had never gotten around to trying these until today. And it was a great first time experience. 

Texas BBQ Chicken Pizza. There are two facts about this pie. One, it was a delectable pizza for sure. Second, it was not a BBQ chicken pizza by my expectations. The chicken may have been barbecued but the pizza was lacking the trademark BBQ sauce. The Jalapenos added a bit of tang and the pizza's flavor was salty and savory as opposed to sweet and savory.

Fiesta pizza was quite a treat. A real meat feast.
The appearance looked really appetizing. Meaty, colorful, cheesy and a lovely aroma - what more does a pizza fanatic desire? It was loaded with bacon, salami and chicken. The thin base, the cheese and the different meats created a diverse flavor experience.

The flavor changed depending on the meat most prominent in my bite. Three different meats, three different flavors, one pizza. I am told that this pizza is hugely popular and may probably make it to their main menu.

Captain : Me tongue loves a meaty pizza, aye.

First Mate : Avast mate, this thin piece of paper sticking under the table looks like a part of some map. This could be our clue.

Captain :  Our map is complete lad. No missing bits from it. This piece of paper cannot be from our map.

The Red velvet cup cake may have not completely satisfied my voracious dessert appetite but it was still a delectable experience. The cupcake fashioned out of red velvet cake was generously topped with sweet cream cheese. It may not make the colorful art piece for insta shutterbugs but it was quite colorful to the tongue. The cream cheese was really amazing and it tasted like a creamy English Toffee.

The cake may however pale in comparison to the topping's sweetness. I sampled the cake separately after clearing my palate and it was satisfactory. A Red velvet lover would really enjoy this little treat.

Captain : No clue so far. Will dessert save us again?

First Mate :  I have been staring at this old map mate. Though the map appears complete, there is one patch that appears abnormally white. It is, as if a layer has been stripped off from here.

Captain  : Could that mean? Let me stick that thin piece of paper on this patch....There.

First Mate : It makes sense now. There seems to be something at this spot. 

Captain : Yes but what? This area appears to be in the middle of the sea.

First Mate : A Hidden Island perhaps.


The service was satisfactory but could feel a bit tardy. I had however gone at a time when the cafe was full so it could just be the rush hour blues for the serving staff.

The pricing feels cheap for the pizza portions served. These are a lot cheaper than my local pizza guy.

Based on this trip, I would say that CFI is quite a decent pizzeria. I am pretty sure that I will visit this place again to try their burgers too. That will be a story for another day I guess.

The Captain's Score : 8/10

"A journey into the unknown awaits us lads. But once we find that compass, we will be the strongest crew to ever sail the seas."

Map Co-Ordinates
Cafe Free India
NM Joshi Marg,
Opposite Deepak Cinema,
Lower Parel, Mumbai.


 -I was invited to the restaurant by its PR. My review however is objective.-